I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What a dumb baby whore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
