I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
