You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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