Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
