Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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