I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've blown a few things in my day
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
