I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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