On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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