I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
