you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
