dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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