she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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