Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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