Dual....:-)
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize