its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
