she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize