I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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