I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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