i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
