Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
