He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize