You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
