Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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