i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
