i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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