Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize