I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
