I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
