thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Randomize
