apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
