Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
