youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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