fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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