the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
