I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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