Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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