until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
