What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
