bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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