Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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