My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
