I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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