Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
