ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
