I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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