Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
