I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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