Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
