I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
