Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize