just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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