The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
