Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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