Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
