Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
