how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
