I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
