I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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