I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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