I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
