Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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