some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
