also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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