are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
