You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
